ϟ When you find out that you had homework right before class starts
ϟ Dear Whoever You Are,
To My Next Boy.
Whoever you may be,
I can only promise you one thing: I, as sure as hell, will not be perfect. I will not spontaneously become girly. I will not become what your ex was. I will not be bullied. I will sometimes act cold and heartless. I will never be any good at dancing with you. I will say things that’ll embarrass you. I will intimidate you. I will know more about somethings than you. I will sometimes make condescending comments, and won’t mean them. I will be hurt when you make me feel stupid. I will have insecurities about my intelligence. I will still idolize my family. I will compare you to every boy I know; but, because you’re with me, you’ll always come out the victor—no matter what. I will want to talk to you about my exes and you not be insecure, but just listen. I will want to be your best friend. I will have no problem with you being friends with a girl, but I will keep tabs. I will never hold it against you for wanting to hang out with your friends. If you hunt or fish I’ll be with you in the deer blind or up at the ass crack of dawn with the bait. I will be in church on Sunday and talking to God and about Him. I will be praying for you…starting now. I will be on the sidelines cheering if you ever join one of those dumb softball leagues..and then I’ll spend the whole car ride back talking about my good ole days as a first basemen. I’ll go with you to any and all baseball games, and I’ll even go to a football game. I will only watch football with you if a) I really, really love you and b) you’ll let me ask 20 million repetitive questions. I promise you that I’ll tell you a million times about how my mom’s a smart sports nut, my dad’s a genius/car mechanic/engineer/weight lifter, my brother’s a supernova genius/soccerplayer/baseballplayer/footballplayer secretly sweet guy, and that my sister is the sweetest/most stubborn/smart/well loved/respectable/best friend I have. I will be as origin as they come. I will be like nobody you’ve never met. I will first try to give you the perception that I’m normal, but I won’t be able to keep it up. I will sound harsh, but I’m a little fuzzy puppy on the inside. Half of what I say will come out wrong. I will never know how to flirt over text, or in real life. I will be blunt. I will be awkward meeting your parents, and your siblings. I will try really hard to get along with your friends. I WILL try to make you jealous, and I’m just going to go ahead and say sorry now. I will not expect you to listen to everything I say, in fact I would prefer if you didn’t—I tend to say things I regret. I will lose my keys. I will lose my phone. I will get something stolen. I might cry, I might not. I will complain. When you say something hurtful I’ll act oblivious and like I didn’t understand.
All I want from you: please don’t judge me, don’t be ashamed of me, and please don’t try to make my perfect.
Sincerely,
Me.
ϟ WHEN SOMEONE SKINNY MENTIONS THAT THEY DON’T WORK OUT
I LOOK AT THEM AND SAY:
